i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
