we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize