Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
