Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
