Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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