Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize