the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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