I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
