It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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