his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
