Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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