How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
