It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize