yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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