He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
