Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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