dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
