My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
