we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
A bitchslap is in order.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize