He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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