How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
