Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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