I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
