she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
