never play flip cup with pint glasses
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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