omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
