the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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