Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
