You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
did you just send me my own nude
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
