Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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