Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
