I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
