my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
