just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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