hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
