just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
