My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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