Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
