That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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