Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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