dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
They have beer where we have blood.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
