it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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