Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
