nut hugger
We're facebook friends in real life
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Where did you get a picture of my penis
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
