oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
