Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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