Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize