How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
