dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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