you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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