Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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