Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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