Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
