I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
