just tell him i said nine months
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
